Lots to do

Busy, busy, busy, that’s been me lately
Not complaining though, I’ve been chipping away at things little by little and achieving things I’d planned to.

I was busy sorting a cupboard in the kitchen this evening when Kyle came in. After watching for a few minutes he shook his head, sighed and said ‘I do worry about you Mum’ he then got a tea towel and started drying the pots and chatting to me. We chatted away and he is a little worrier bless him, he told me he wishes I wouldn’t go to the shops when it’s dark outside because he’s scared something might happen to me and he worries until I come home safe (I rarely do but I did one night last week). He said he wishes he was bigger so he could be more help because he loves me and doesn’t like it when I look tired !. He has a very grown up head on little shoulder’s sometimes, he obviously notices things way way beyond his years, his teachers notice the same thing at school. He stayed in the kitchen for 2 hours with me, chatting whilst helping me washing up, sorting cupboards and sorting laundry, he even emptied the dryer filter and water retainer. He carried the heavy water tank carefully to the sink like it was perfectly normal for someone his size, he really was trying to be the man of the house while his Dad was out.
Sometimes he is a typical 7 year old boy but at other’s it’s hard to believe he is still SO little really. I am so proud of him, he is a very compassionate little soul. He might wish he could help me more but I wish I could give him so much more. He dreams of a Nintendo 3D DS for his birthday in Feb but he knows I just can’t afford it. He say’s ‘they do look so good Mum but I do know that they are so expensive, it’s silly isn’t it Mum, making kids toys that are that expensive. Gavin said he might let me have a play on his though if I go to his house one day so it doesn’t matter I always get cool stuff for my birthday anyway.

I know it’s not about presents really, I just think he deserves more, from being tiny he’s had to be patient and understand his big brother isn’t like other brothers, he’s learnt compromise from a very early age. He knows I think the world of him anyway and he knows that if I did have the money then i would buy him that Nintendo. I’m going to organize him a big party though, kind of have to as he has so many friends and he can’t bare the thought of leaving any of them out ! Not a problem I’ve ever had lol.

I’ve got another charity meeting this week and we’re of to open a bank account for it too It’s been keeping me very busy, it was party weekend Sunday just gone too. When we got home Paige gave me a big hug and said thank you for taking her, that in her words ‘the party rocked mum’, lol. Makes me remember how important keeping them going is, not just for Paige but for all the children who are really starting to form their own kind of friendships with each other, it has been a pleasure to watch happen. It’s nice for all us parents too, we get to see we’re not the only one’s that deal with what we do.

In between being super busy I’ve been feeling super homesick, I hit an all new low the other day when I found myself google image searching pictures of my old home town (and it aint pretty lol). I won’t be getting back up North this year, it’s just out of the range of possibilities. We can only go when my Mum can look after Paige because she can’t go that distance in the car (& then you have to find and pay for somewhere suitable to stay) my Mum’s situation isn’t great though and she has her own plans obviously. She is having some of the kids for one night in May for us so we can go to one of Graham’s friends big wedding which is nice of her. That’s the thing about having only one person you can ask for help, you have to choose very carefully which thing you want to do most that takes priority and forgo most others that if your child wasn’t disabled you could do easily and most people take for granted. I do miss home though, maybe next year.

Don’t really know what it is I miss so much about home really, maybe a combination of the familiar faces, the warmth of the accent (it makes even a tragedy sound not that big of a deal and the familiar places and landscape, would love to get back on the hills and take the kids to where I used to spend hours playing when i was their age’s. That’s probably more for my benefit though lol we all love to revisit our childhood memories now and again don’t we I like seeing my old friends too, at swimming lessons last night there was a lady who looked very very like one of my friends, I was staring at her thinking i wish she was actually my friend it would be so nice, when she noticed, v embarrassing, she probably thinks I have some sort of weird girl crush on her now or something lol. Maybe I’m just a bit lonely at the minute, I might give some of my old family and friends a ring in the next week or two and catch up.

Oh my diet has officially started, I’m doing slim fast. I know it’s not the best diet plan in the world but it’s worked well for me in the past, the meal replacement drinks get me out of the habit of chewing and craving food. Not everyone’s cup of tea but it works for me and keeps me disciplined. I have to keep saying to myself ‘nothing tastes as good as slim feels’….yeah right, who am I kidding lol I know sausage, curry and chips are a taste sensation lol.

Right best dash as Ben’s nap time is almost over and I’ve lots I should really be doing, bfn

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